I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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