Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
