how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
