..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
