It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
