At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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