He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
