I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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