apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
