so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
