Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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