PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
