I didn't shave. On purpose
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
