youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
