so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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