we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
