Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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