I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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