the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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