Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
