I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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