So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
