I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
