Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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