Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
