So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
