In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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