How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
