Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
two words: eviction party
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize