I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
