tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
