Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
