Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Still dying that you shit outside
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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