a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
