So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
