I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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