Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
