She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
