I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
