The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize
