I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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