I bet he comes in French.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
