So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
