he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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