He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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