its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
