Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
