If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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