We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
