You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
