But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
