what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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