I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Randomize
