well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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