i think my mom watched the whole time
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
