I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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