I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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