...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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