I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
