i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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