I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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