Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My liver just had a heart attack.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize