is your mom at the bar?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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